It is hard to deal with unknowns, but there are ways to make them less impactful.

We cannot change how another person sees the world. We can change our impact on their environment.

Until a couple experiences significantly more positive interactions than negative, the spouse will assume negative intent. The mind will interpret most of the intentional negatives plus all the unintentional negatives as negative.

We can train our body to respond to an emotion in the same manner that we can train our body to respond to a phobia.