Aligning Will and Advice

A rifle has a front sight and a rear sight. It is not enough for the rifleman to point the front sight, alone, at the target. The front and the rear must perfectly align, on the target, if the shot is to reach the desired destination.

A client’s will and a counselor’s advice, must also perfectly align, if action is to take place. A counselor cannot make a person do something that is against their will. A person must want to take action in a specific direction before they will be willing to act. A person must want to change their way of thinking, before they are able to start to think differently. The human will is a powerful thing and cannot be changed without a person desiring it to be so.  

When talking with people, it is helpful to first assess what it is that they want to accomplish. If the client has the will to move in a specific direction, then it will be easy for the counselor to help the client move in that direction. If the client does not have the will, the client will resist any attempts made by the counselor.

The counselor should take responsibility for his level of advice, skill, knowledge, delivery, kindness, professionalism, and anything else that originates from the counselor. The counselor should not take responsibility for the client’s actions. The client’s actions originate from the client. The counselor does not have power over the client’s hands, feet, or words. The client is not the counselor’s puppet. The counselor cannot make a client do anything. The client will make a specific action when that action is the will of the client.

Oftentimes a client will have difficulty knowing what decision to make. A client sometimes has to decide between two or more choices. The counselor can help the client weigh out the pros and cons of each decision. The counselor can help the client explore possible consequences of each decision. The counselor cannot make the decision for the client, because the client is the only one who will have to live with the consequences of the decision.

 If action is to take place in therapy. The counselor’s advice and the client’s will, must align. Clients are in charge of their own lives. It is the counselor job to find out what direction the client wants to go, and then help the client achieve that goal.