Being A Servant

Olga wanted a Christ-centered home. She wanted her husband to lead it. She wanted him to be excited to read the scriptures with their children. She wanted him to be the one to ask the family to pray, lead an early morning devotional, rally the children to attend church, be excited about small groups, and have Christ-centered friends. Olga believed that this was a righteous desire of her heart and because it was a righteous desire, she believed that she should keep hounding her husband about it.

Olga was correct in her belief that she had a righteous desire. What Olga did not realize, however, was that the desire for her husband’s change of heart needed to be her husband’s. She could not supplant the desire for him.

Olga was extremely motivated on behalf of her husband. She constantly told him that he needed to lead. She gave disappointed looks when he didn’t call the children to family prayers. She sulked when he was the last one to get into the van on Sunday morning. She sighed when he turned down offers to attend Sunday School. Sometimes she didn’t do the morning devotional, just to see if her husband would do it. When he didn’t step up, she would announce that he proved her right, once again.

Olga’s repeated attempts at trying to achieve a goal that she could not own made her miserable. Her husband began to associate Christ with contention. Olga repeatedly made sharp comments about how she was the spiritual leader in the home and she didn’t like it. She protested how the weight of being the spiritual leader was burdensome and should not be hers to shoulder. She offered up orations about needing a partner. Olga did not like being the spiritual leader in her home.

One day, while flipping through the Bible, Olga read a verse. The verse read, “But he that is greatest among you shall be your servant (Matthew 23:11).” This verse struck Olga to her core. She thought that she was modeling what a spiritual leader looked like for her husband. She was actually modeling what it looked like to be a spiritual dictator. It’s no wonder he didn’t want to take up the mantle. Why would he want to replace her as the spiritual dictator?

Olga wrote the verse down on an index card. She taped the card to her bathroom mirror. As she got ready in the morning, she would ask herself, “if I am going to be the spiritual leader, how can I be the spiritual servant?” As she got ready in the morning, she pondered how she could be a servant to her family.

Olga found that being a leader in God’s kingdom was different than being a leader in the world’s kingdom. She stopped trying to force people to love Christ. Instead, she looked for ways to help them find healing through Christ.

When she prayed as a family, she offered up supplication. When her husband was tired, she asked God to strengthen him. When her daughter lost her worth, she asked God to show it to her. When her son worried about success, she asked God to give him courage.

When Olga looked up devotionals, she looked for messages that would offer guidance and direction for the difficulties her children were going through. When her son’s goldfish died, she discussed the glory of heaven and the hope of the resurrection. When her daughter felt bad about herself, for not getting higher marks than her friends, she discussed the parable of the talents.

Olga used the Spirit of Christ to lighten the mood in her home. She played soothing gospel music. She used kind and loving words when talking to others. She offered assistance when needed. Instead of telling her husband how he should grow spiritually, she waited for him to make steps in that direction. Whenever he did, she expressed encouragement and appreciation.

As Olga focused on being a servant, her heart softened. She no longer focused on her husband’s deficits. Instead, she focused on how she could serve the people in her home. She didn’t feel burdened. She found that being a servant was a lighter load than being a dictator. She also noticed that her husband began to slowly emulate her Christlike service. He didn’t want to pick up the mantle of dictator in Christ, but he was willing to learn how to be a servant in Christ.