How To Be Perfectly Miserable About Your Spouse’s Failures

1. Focus on them.

2. Talk about them.

3. Write about them.

4. Read about them.

5. Picture how wonderful your life would be if the failures did not exist.

6. Try to find a disorder that your spouse has.

7. Try to find corroborating evidence that your spouse’s failures exist.

8. Assume that your children are feeling the exact same way you are.

9. Constantly run interference between your spouse and the children.

10. Assume that your happiness is directly tied to their decisions.