Acceptance

Problems will come. Some problems are not preventable. These unpreventable problems can cause a lot of anxiety while we are anticipating them. We worry, fret, and frantically try to avoid them. The anxiety that we feel inside, while we are trying to avoid the unavoidable problem, is often significantly worse than the anxiety the problem will actually produce.

Acceptance is one tool that will help a person get rid of anticipatory anxiety. To use acceptance, it doesn’t mean that we are okay with the problem. It doesn’t mean that we will find happiness in the problem. It just means that we will accept that it might happen and we will emotionally survive the problem when it comes.

If we spend our time worrying about the problem, the worrying can because extremely intense. The intenseness of the worry can taint otherwise pleasant moments in our life. It can be a better approach to accept the possibility that the problem will occur, it is not 100% preventable, we will emotionally survive it, and it is okay to relax and enjoy the moments we are in instead of dreading the moments that have not occurred.  

One way to utilize acceptance is to first relax the body, second think about the scenario that we are dreading, and third think about how we will survive the situation. It is necessary to relax the body first, because it’s easier for the mind to allow shifts in perception, if the body is relaxed. If the body is tense, the mind will hyperfocus on problems and not easily allow solutions and possibilities to populate.

The body has the ability to learn how to relax the body in problematic situations. Relaxing the body while thinking about the problem, will teach the body that the particular problem is doable. The more we pair thoughts of the problem with a relaxed physical state, over and over again in our mind, the more our body will start to recognize the problem as something we are capable of handling.

It is important to think about how you will survive the problem, should it occur. If we have a plan and we know our resources, then the mind and body can relax, even if the problem should arise. If we have thought out the solutions and the positive possibilities, we will act on them when the problem arises. If we only focus on the negatives, we will be less aware of solutions if the problem comes. Accepting problems, knowing solutions, and feeling confident, helps our mind and body to relax.

Sometimes there isn’t a good solution that we can think of. In these cases, learning to make peace with the worst-case scenario can decrease our fear. Once our fear of the situation has been reduced, we can think more clearly about the situation. We will not be consumed with thinking about it.