The runner careened over the hill as she launched her heart into the last stretch of the race. She pushed everything she had into her legs. She ignored her mind that was screaming at her to stop. She poured in every last ounce of energy. She burst across the finish line and collapsed. She was exhausted. She had given all that she had.

The runner felt weak after the race. She felt like she had spent every ounce of available energy. The woman did not have time to go through the recovery process after the race. She did not have time to eat healthy. She did not want to pay for a deep tissue massage. She skipped her stretching exercises.  Instead of doing light exercises, she pushed herself even harder every day for the following week. At the end of the week, she tore a muscle. She did not have time for torn muscles. She kept running, despite the pain.  

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It was an emotional time for the young woman. She was taking care of her baby, a two-year-old, and a four-year-old child. Her husband came down with an illness and the doctors were unable to treat it. He was out of work and he didn’t know when he was going to be well enough to go back. Her mother-in-law had moved into her home and she was taking care of her as well.

The woman was emotionally exhausted. At first, she felt emotionally withdrawn and irritable. She would have crying spells over seemingly inconsequential problems. After a few days of irritation and crying, she stopped feeling.  She felt numb.  It was as if her tears and emotions dried up. She worried that maybe she lost all of her empathy. She worried what type of mother she would be if she didn’t have any emotions. She just felt nothing.

The woman did not have any available time for self-care. She was not going to be able to finish all the things she needed to do and then take care of herself. She kept pushing herself to perform. She noticed her moods would cycle. She would feel nothing for a few days and then she would feel short and irritable for a few days. Then there were days when she felt depressed and she would lie in bed all day, only to get upset at herself and the work that piled up around her.

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It is easy for us to tell the runner that she needs to rest when her body is tired. We understand that when a muscle is torn, it shouldn’t be worked. It is much harder for us to understand that emotional exhaustion is just as real as physical exhaustion and also needs to be handled with care.

We can understand that a runner needs to pay for a deep tissue massage to reduce muscle spasms. We have less empathy for a mother who puts her child in day care while she goes to the gym. We applaud the runner who takes a break, even though there are future races to be won.  We look down on the mother who takes a break if housework is not done. We would do well to accept that emotional responses are more productive when we are well rested emotionally.