Laying Down Our Life 

Johnathan was miserable. He worked all day every day and when he came home his house was never clean. His wife couldn’t keep up with it. Johnathan complained to his wife and yelled at his wife, but his efforts at persuading her to clean better were in vain.

Marybeth wanted to have a clean home, but she couldn’t quite make it happen. She would start to clean, but as soon as she started to think about everything that needed to get done, she would become overwhelmed. She would have a panic attack and then sink into depression.  She would get on her phone and disappear into the distraction of social media.

Johnathan believed that he could be happy if his home was clean. He believed that his wife was standing between him and his happiness. He didn’t understand it. He worked all day long. His job was hard, but he did it anyway. Why couldn’t Marybeth work as hard as he did? All she did was sit on the couch with her phone. Johnathan decided that she was lazy. He felt used. He became angry and resentful towards Marybeth.

Marybeth felt like a failure. She constantly compared herself to other women around her.  She thought that every woman in her church was able to have a clean home except her. She pictured the other ladies of her congregation sitting at home in their dresses, the smell of freshly baked bread filling the air, while their children read the Bible to each other.

Marybeth’s depression became worse. In her mind, she failed at everything. As she worked around the home, her husband’s voice played in her head, criticizing her. Her own voice agreed with his, and the combined noise of past failures played like a symphony in her mind. The symphony sucked the energy from her soul and Marybeth sank further and further into depression.

One morning, Johnathan cracked his Bible open and read a verse that struck his heart. The verse read, “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends (John 20:13).” As Johnathan pondered this verse, he asked himself, “Marybeth used to be my best friend. Have I laid down my life for her?”

Johnathan thought about the verse all day, while he was at work. On their wedding night, he had promised to love her and cherish her, yet he had derided and belittled her. What would it mean for him to “lay down his life for her?”

Johnathan had been miserable primarily because he believed that his happiness depended upon Marybeth’s success. The worse he felt, the more he pushed and cajoled Marybeth to change. When she became less and less successful with each passing day, Johnathan became more and more miserable. He saw his happiness slowly slipping away and he believed that it was her fault.

As Johnathan pondered the verse, his mindset slowly changed. His happiness was no longer his focus. Her happiness was. As Johnathan forgot about himself and focused on Marybeth, his depression started to lift. His mind became clearer. His heart towards her softened. He wanted to lay down his life for her.

When Johnathan came home, his wife braced herself for the usual routine. On a usual day, Johnathan would walk through the door and criticize her. They would start arguing and their focus would turn away from the children and onto each other. The tension from the fighting would fill the house and the children would start fighting. Johnathan and Marybeth would be so embroiled in their argument, that they wouldn’t have time to stop the children from quarreling. After an hour or two of yelling at each other, neither of them would have the strength to cook a meal. They would order some food, while Johnathan complained about how useless Marybeth was. This day, however, was not usual.

Johnathan walked through the door. He kissed his wife on the cheek and rallied the children. They made a game out of picking up the living room. The clothes were folded and put away to the tune of music. Marybeth busied herself in the kitchen, while the family worked and sang together. The family had a delicious home-cooked meal. That night, the family prayed together for the first time in a long time.

The next day was Saturday. Johnathan woke up early, excited to start the day. While his wife and children lay sleeping in their beds, Johnathan picked up the house and finished the cleaning from the night before. The children woke to the smell of sizzling bacon and Marybeth was presented with breakfast in bed.  Johnathan asked the children to help clean up the dishes, and as a reward, he would take the family out on an outing.

Johnathan hadn’t thought about himself all morning, but he noticed that he was having a lot of fun. His depression had lifted. The more he thought about ways to lay down his life for his family, the happier he became. That night, he read another Bible verse. “For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it (Matthew 16:25)”.