Heaven is a home where peace resides. Heaven is a home where God’s love is continuously felt. It is not a coincidence that love and peace reside together. In a place where peace resides, it is absolutely essential that love is felt. Children of all ages must know that their parents love them. If the child is not getting enough love and attention, no amount of discipline will help.
Children of all ages must know that God loves them. They must also understand the true nature of God. Children tend to compare the nature of God to the nature of their parents. If peace is to preside in the home, and if the child is to grow close to God, then a very strong relationship must be established between parent and child. A loving family relationship will be formed through the catalyst of time. Without the parent spending time with the child, love has difficulty growing. The time spent must be self-evident that it is being spent because the parent enjoys the company of the child.
Some good ways to spend time with a child is to go on dates, one on one, with one specific child at a time. Other good ways are to obtain a work project or a hobby that is specific to each child and spend time completing them, one on one. Just as parents desire to follow God because they feel God’s love, children will also desire to follow the righteous counsel of their parents because they feel their love.
Just as time is the catalyst for Love. Love is the catalyst for growth. Children without love will not have the accelerated growth that would have been present with the catalyst. Children without love tend to exhibit physical illness, mental illness, and unwanted behaviors.
Luckily, children will not make you guess if they are requiring more love or not. Most children will show behavior that shows that they are requiring more love. These evidences are manifested by a child being clingy, whiney, wanting to go with you everywhere, and constantly requiring your attention. Adolescents will sometimes do rebellious things and leave obvious evidence so they can get caught. They will also begin dating less than desirable boyfriends and girlfriends. If the child or adolescent is exhibiting these behaviors, the parent can teach the child that it is better to overtly state that they want attention, instead of going about it in a maladaptive manner.
The good news is that their heart is like a gas tank, it is not a bottomless pit. If the parent spends a lot of extra time with a child that is requiring attention, the child’s heart will fill up and the attention seeking behaviors will decrease. After the heart fills up, the parent only needs to continually fill it with small amounts of time and attention in order to maintain its level. Every child is different. Some children will require more time and attention than others in order to maintain a full level. Be glad if you have a child that requires a lot of expressions of love. It means that they have a tender heart; don’t break it.
Express love equally to all children. Imagine how you would feel if God loved you less than everyone else.
Make sure your child knows that you love them the same as your other children. Assist your children in discovering qualities unique to them, and then celebrate those qualities. Parenting is an unselfish act. It requires all of your time and attention. Give it all you have because you only get one shot.