Relationships are very interconnected. A change in one person often results in a change in a relationship. Often to change a dynamic, only a small but often difficult change is needed. The hard part is figuring out which change needs to be made. Sometimes people try to make a change in a relationship by intensifying the same intervention that hasn’t been working. Like in Judo, the key to fast change is to study the dynamic thoroughly and then apply an intervention in the direction that the system has the ability to go.

Getting routine preventative cleaning at the dentist saves thousands of dollars and time. Waiting until the tooth is decayed and collapsing results in pain and high costs. Likewise, resolving family difficulties when they are small results in saving thousands of dollars and time. The chances of saving a relationship is higher when problems are resolved while they are small, rather than waiting for the problem to abscess to the point that divorce is being considered. Preventative care is always a better choice.