When Your Adult Child Disowns You
It’s difficult when we are disowned by someone we love. It is hard to know what to do in a situation like that. Luckily there is a famous parent, who has been disowned many times, that we can emulate in this type of situation. This parent is often known as, “God.”
Our Father in Heaven has been disowned by his children, a time or two. When he is disowned, he always follows the same pattern. He continuously offers love, while allowing his children to make their own decisions. If his children do not like him, he continues to offer love, while allowing them the choice to distance themselves or bring themselves closer.
Our Heavenly Father doesn’t ever try to buy affection. He isn’t a genie in a bottle that grants our every wish. He doesn’t operate like Santa Clause, offering us presents, but only if we are good. Instead he helps us to become emotionally and economically independent. If asked, He will give us advice on how we can find a way to pay our electric bill. If we choose to squander our money on something else, he will allow the power to get shut off.
Our Heavenly Father doesn’t succumb to threats. If we threaten to refuse to bring our children to church, unless God makes our car payment, we will probably end up losing our car. If we go to God and ask him how we can learn to make our own car payment, He will help us figure it out, regardless of our decision to bring our children to church or not.
If we do decide that we want a relationship with our Heavenly Father, we can come to him and He will welcome us with open arms. He is always there to love us, regardless of the choices we have made. He loves us, despite how we may have despised Him in the past. His love is unconditional.
Unconditional love does not mean that we have to listen to someone, while they belittle us or tear us down. It doesn’t mean that we have to be someone’s emotional punching bag. Unconditional love does not require us to stay in synchronous or asynchronous conversations that are hateful. This type of love does require that we accept an olive branch when it is offered. It requires that we offer advice, when it’s asked. This type of love suggests that we continue to reach out, periodically, with comments of love and encouragement. This will let them know that we are still there, we are still waiting, and when they reach out, they will find love.