In order to determine if we are good at something, our mind has to have a standard to compare against. Our mind will constantly use people around us as a means to judge our current position. Jealousy occurs when we compare our current state to the state of others and we feel that we are less than them. Pride occurs when we compare our current state to the state of others and we feel we are doing better than them.

We often want to heal the pain that we see in others. We are not healers. Jesus Christ is the healer. People work on themselves and grow through the grace of God. We cannot do another person’s growth. We cannot apply the power of grace. We are simply a tool in the Master’s hand.

We recognize what attributes are good and what attributes are bad. When we feel bad, it does not help us to demand that our spouse embodies good attributes. If our spouse embodied good attributes, then our spouse would feel good. If we wish to feel good, we need to embody the attributes that we know will create a vessel for happiness.

The phrase “self-esteem” assumes that we esteem ourselves. Why then do we think that it should come from others? If our esteem comes from others, it would be called “other-esteem.” The phrase “self-esteem” means that the esteem comes from the self.