Susy had been working as a volunteer at the kennel for a week. She was starting to get used to the dogs. Some of the dogs were very friendly, others were mean, and some dogs were unpredictable. Susy knew to keep her distance when working with the mean dogs. She allowed her guard to be down around the friendly dogs. It was the unpredictable dogs that she was unsure of.
One day, a little dog named Benny was taken in by the shelter. Benny was a very friendly dog and Susy quickly let her guard down around him. Benny had come from a bad home and he was still easily frightened.
One of Susy’s jobs was to clean out the dog pens. To do this, she would remove the dogs, remove the belongings, and spray out the kennel. One day, Susy was behind on her job and she was moving very quickly. Benny was laying cautiously in the corner when she went to pick him up. Benny was triggered by Susy’s quick movements, and he snapped at her, drawing blood on her hand. Susy was surprised and reacted with a heightened emotion. Benny instinctively responded to her heightened emotion by crouching and growling.
The next time Susy came to clean the kennel she was more cautious. Benny could sense that Susy was not relaxed and he huddled down in a defensive position. His defensive position resulted in Susy becoming tense. When she picked Benny up, she did not do so with warmth, she was mechanical in her actions and quickly whisked him away. Benny was stiff under her mechanical touch and growled as she put him down.
Susy and Benny became increasingly more wary of each other. Susy started labeling Benny as a mean dog and Benny always growled whenever he saw Susy coming. Each one responded to their fear of the other one. Each one felt justified by the other person’s response.
Megan was Susy’s supervisor. Megan noticed that Benny was becoming increasingly more upset. Megan explained to Susy that they were training each other. She explained that if Susy wanted Benny to be calm around her, she would have to be calm around him.
Susy felt justified in her actions. She explained that she would not be able to be calm until Benny demonstrated that he was safe to be around. Megan explained that Susy needed to learn to be calm around all types of dogs. She doesn’t get to choose how dogs respond to her. She can choose how she behaves around them.
With Megan’s help, Susy learned to not tense up when she was around Benny. She learned to not stiffen when she held him. Susy learned to not react with heightened emotion whenever Benny growled.
As Benny sensed Megan’s softened demeanor, he began to not react toward Megan with fear. He began to anticipate her arrival and wag his tail when he saw her. He started to snuggle into her whenever she picked him up. Instead of backing away when she approached him, he came toward her.